Supporting Moms During and After the Pandemic
Take a piece of paper. Tear it in half. Tear it in half again. Now one more time. Pick up the pieces and crumple them together into a ball. Take the ball of paper and play catch with it. Eventually, the paper wears down and the individual pieces fall out getting even more worn, torn, or forgotten and stepped on. That is what it can feel like as a Mom - without adding in a Pandemic. One year ago, our public lives went into lockdown but our private lives became exposed to anyone with a Zoom log-in or Facetime. Our professional and personal lives collided, leaving parents to navigate the unchartered territory of being a parent, spouse, professional, caregiver, and teacher all at once, 24/7, under one roof. Here we are almost exactly 365 days to the day that we all went home. It only seems fitting that during this week, the same as we celebrate International Women’s Day, that we pause to reflect on what all Moms during the Pandemic have taken on, endured, and accomplished despite the challenges and obstacles presented.
Women have an instinctive nature to say “yes” and take on everything for everyone. You cannot just shut that off because kids are home while you are also working. In some ways it is actually intensified because now you want to be giving your children your attention, but it is being pulled in other directions like the laundry you see sitting on the floor or the meeting reminder that just popped up on your phone. There was likely a time before we knew exactly what COVID-19 would do to our world that the idea of being home to have extra family time, working in yoga pants, and taking care of the house all at once without a commute or other distractions seemed like a dream. For many, just the thought of going to get groceries alone and wander the aisles to recall what shopping and being in public is like, is the dream. The fact is no one was able to predict what 2020/2021 would hold for us, we still can’t and we have to remember the future is never told to us in a crystal ball. That is why a woman's ability to adapt and take life on as it comes, making the necessary decisions for her family and loved ones is one of the most amazing traits we possess, and yet one of the most unrecognized.
While many women did or are doing as we have mentioned, parenting, teaching, and working at home all day every day, that is not the case for all. We cannot forget the women who lost their jobs due to the Pandemic or made the very selfless decision to leave their jobs to focus on their families. Everyone has gone through their own life-changes in the past year due to COVID, plus the regular ups and down of everyday life. There is so much to think and talk about from what we have gone through and still need to process in the upcoming months and years. As Moms ourselves at Mini Social who miss seeing other Moms and children stop in to play, converse, work, and take a break, we’d like to get the conversation started. While the light seems to be getting brighter for us at the end of this long, dark tunnel, we’re still on the journey. We’d like to invite you to take the following tips as ways you can support other Moms in your life today, tomorrow, and in the future. It is important to remember that parenting, as a Mom and a Dad, is always a day-to-day learning opportunity with bumps and rewards in each. We have to make time to support and lift each other up.
Give her a compliment. As women, we just do what we have to for our loved ones, coworkers, and friends without expecting praise. In a world that seemed to be going 90 miles an hour while also standing still, chances are the simple words of gratitude or positive expressions fell to the wayside as everyone took on their own temporary “new normals.” Take time this week to call, text, email, or mail a note to a Mom in your life. Tell her how you admire her strength, grace, and patience. Let her know you see how hard she has been working to keep it all together and remind her it is okay to fall apart sometimes; to be human.
Show compassion. The next time you hop on a Zoom meeting with a woman you know is a Mom, ask her how she is doing before jumping into the meeting agenda. She may have just spent the last hour trying to get her infant to bed in time for that call and has gone without rest herself. Maybe she just finished doing Algebra with her high schooler that she herself had to relearn and is now having flashbacks of her former math class days. Or she may have just gotten off a Facetime call with her parents who she hasn’t seen in months because she wants to keep them healthy. Whatever the case may be, you don’t have to know the details, just remember that we all have lives outside of the timeslot on our calendar to discuss budgets and marketing plans. It will mean more than you can imagine to take a few minutes to let her just talk and reset.
Offer a helping hand. “It’s fine. I’m fine. Everything is fine.” This phrase has come to be a joke at times between couples or relating to how women say things are okay when they are not. While women like to wear an invisible cape and act like undercover superheroes, we don’t have to all the time. If you can do so safely and both you and your friend are comfortable with it, offer to babysit while the Mom in your life gets a chance to do whatever she wants for a bit. That might be taking a hot shower longer than 3 minutes or exercising or dare we say, taking a nap. We need to remind each other to hit pause on helping everyone all the time and take care of ourselves too.